1) waking up in a warm bed next to someone I love.
2) having the first day in months of just going with the flow.
3) feeling alive.
4) having drinks with great friends last night.
5) Kelly Francis and her half full approach to life.
6) Kim Thomspon--just for being her every day and making me think in ways I don't usually think.
7) New possibilities.
8) An open mind.
9) people to cover the desk when I'm gone.
10) The guy in the coffee shop in the building who has mine ready as soon as I step up to the counter in the mornings.
11) A red pen that I love at my desk.
12) A trip to see my family in PA tomorrow.
13) A free evening.
14) An evening of no gym.
15) getting paid next week.
Mainstream issues...
I'm trying to get it through my head that it's ok to be a multi-tasker in life. For some reason I used to be able to do this and the older I get the more it feels impossible. These ideals that one should do just do one thing and be set with that are ridiculous. Yet I find myself clinging to them the older that I get. I think it can be scary for people who have these ideals in their head of who they are to really jump off the normal path. For me I'm finding that I can't sit still very long without getting bored. I don't want to be bored. Especially bored artistically. Life is way too short to be stewing all of the time. I saw two actors on the train yesterday and listened to their conversations about how they were doing 8 auditions a day and not getting work...and they were frustrated because they had no money and were worn out. They looked like hell--and I thought "how could you possibly give a good audition looking the way you do and feeling so tired?" Some people think one doesn't have drive if they're not wanting to constantly audition...they think they just are lazy. I don't always agree. Yes I'm sure there are lazy actors/singers out there-I know some. But the quality of work being offered is not the best. I look for auditions frequently...and nothing sparks me. Yes there is a chain you have to crawl up so they say--but really, do you? Does one really have to compromise their artistic values for a small paycheck just to put something on the resume? I believe I would rather do free GOOD work than shitty paid work just to put something on my resume. I read Classical Singer magazine and I am mixed between the thoughts of..."wow this so great that there is a community for people..." and "oh my this is TOO much of everyone trying to learn the same thing and figure things out..." I've decided I have a lot of interests...reading is a key for keeping my mind clear. I've been reading A NEW EARTH by Eckhart Tolle. It's quite good--and remarkably life changing. I'm almost finished and I'm hoping to keep with the truth of each and every moment. But I want to be a multi-tasker. I want to do different things. Passion will carry you through...you have to be completely engaged so that the passion pulls you in. I haven't felt that in a while. There hasn't been any project that has kept me up all night learning lines, studying, reading, etc....for a LONG time. I want that again. I want that obsession--that drive. I know it's slowly coming back...and I just have to be open to whatever form it may come in. Onwards and upwards, eh?
Justin
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