7 deadly sins

Seven Deadly Sins Survey

Wrath

Who did you last get angry with?
Ehhh the retard who turned when people were crossing the street.

What is your weapon of choice?
A gun

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Ummm maybe

How about the same sex?
yeah

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Hard to tell.

What is your pet peeve?
People who are full of themselves

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I usually can let go pretty easily.

Sloth

What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
wake up on time

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
4 p.m. maybe

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
Maggie

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
I'm tired.

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
sadly yes

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
7--it's terrible, I know.

Gluttony

What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
fruit infused martini

Are you a meat eater?
Yes

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
4 Stellas, 2 shots, and 1 mixer in about 40 minutes.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
yes

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
Unfortunately, yes

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
all three! :)

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
what no


Greed

How many credit cards do you own?
2 too many

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
be debt free...take a year to just study and audition...save and invest the rest and pretend I didn't have it.

Would you rather be rich or famous?
a little of both

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
Ummm boring is not my style.


Pride

What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
Got my masters degree and moved to NYC and performed within the first two months of being here.

What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
gone through two degrees.

What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
renovate a big house with my husband.

Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
not really.

Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
no

Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
yes

What did you do today that you're proud of?
got to work 10 minutes early...enough time to check myself in the mirror, grab a bagel and coffee, and breathe.


Lust

How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
ohhh too many to name.

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?
isn't this the same question?

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
yes

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
Lips

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
yes

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
no


Envy

What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
my own house in Massachusettes

Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
Anne

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
Jude Law

Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
yes

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
self control

I miss you!

So since I changed my phone number everything has seemed to change with my phone in some weird way...
I call to check my voice mail and the usual lady who does the prompts has somehow changed. There's a new lady now...she's cold, stern, and not as warm as the other lady. Perhaps this is the New York voice...but when I listen to it I twitch with saddness....for what it's worth...
wherever you are...
I miss you old verizon voice mail/phone settings lady!

Allora

Allora adesso sento come la scrittura in italiano
perché... potrebbe essere divertente.
Sono curioso per vedere se nessuno risponderà
o porterà il tempo a vedere se che scrivo è italiano corretto.
Ho un ragazzo nuovo.
Sono nell'amore con lui.
Voglio mostrarlo al mondo.
Ciò è tutto per oggi.

-Justin

another hundred people just got off of the train

hit the gym tonight
the first time in too long.
i've slowly crept back into "old" routine here
which for so long seemed unbearable
the thought of going to the gym put old wicked thoughts in my head.
as i ran tonight
i looked over at karrie
i smile because the judgments werent there.
this was the life i wanted
why couldn't i have had this before?
was i not open?
too many voices, too many judges?
growth & independence.
i smiled as i hit the 15 minute mark
without stopping once-i couldn't believe it.
somehow i seemed stronger than ever
i hit the zone faster than expected.
lifting was easier than i thought.
an old face flooded my mind
realizing your toxic nature i turn
and i see another familiar face
again i smile.
i dine with karrie
margarita?
"i shouldn't--it's Tuesday & i just worked out," I said
a pause
"mango margarita please," I quickly retorted
living? yes.
a walk around gramercy and union square just talking
this can happen in real life.
connecting
my new goal.
i have finally torn the veil of that face up
my power is back in my hands
my voice is back in my hands
that face is not in the imaginary audience anymore.
i have no one to please artistically but myself.
my love is pure
reciprication is MINE right now.
I step on the train
another familiar face
random meeting people i know on the subway.
we talk and i'm reminded that i'm in the perfect place in my life.
i call the objection of my love and affection on the way back--
this is real
this is what i feel...
dreaming together-his voice makes me feel alive.
in love?
absolutely.

-Justin

An Old One

Many months old...re read it today...interesting how short in time things change:


seven years...
a long time-
probably too long I suppose.
fresh out of high school
stars in my eyes...
I sit in singers diction class
cute tall girl sitting in front of me
"who's your favorite musical theatre singer?"
"elaine paige...u?"
"Bernadette Peters"
karaoke
kamikozies...
everything seemed dream like and surreal-
I'm on my own.
shy girl meeting for the first time outside the choir room...
"you're in freshman chamber choir too?"
I can't believe we made it...
the smoking wall-batcheldor---
are you gay or bi?
friendships I will never forget.
Walking to parties....
movies in the dorm rooms....
eating at the dial...
weekends on the first floor
parties on the third.
exam weeks-never more fun than that first year.
strawberry daquiries.
term papers-
notes-
classes-
tears-
Laughter....
summer visits...sleeping together on the floor...
outdoor parties...
Sept. 11-always a vivid memory-
fear stricken
walking on slippery elm...
had sex that night
someting that seemed to relieve the pain.
Months of voice lessons...
more classes...
working in the office...
theatre shows...
Berlin to Broadway-still my all time favorite.
Hickies, parties, dances, tantrums....
21st b-day parties...
heart breaks
heart aches...
bretz.
saying goodbye to friends-
graduating....
continuing...
new life...
meeting new people...
Doc-a constant in my life here.
Europe-my constant dream forever with me...
long walks in Urbania late at night
these will forever get me through.
nights of being high...on life and on...well...
recitals
driving and listening to tons of music
spring break
six feet under & art museum.
These are all a part of me...
memories cannot be posted to their fullest
not enough room.
I'm grateful for these memories
seven very good years-
a place to call home.
Forever lingering in my heart--
writing now as I won't be able to the rest of the week-
too much raw emotion...
speak from the heart.
7 years..
I still love Bernadette Peters.
I will always look back at this chapter in my life and smile....
thank you all for your wonderful messages
your understanding blows me away.

"stop worrying where you're going...move on..."

Life doesn't end...this is never a real good-bye..
things change...
but time is constant...
connections will be forever...
we are all interwoven together in some strange but wonderful way.

Until later I send peace and love
send the same back is all I ask.

Here's to the next chapter....And to the ladies who lunch, aren't they a gas? ;-)

All my love,
Justin

Time travels

Thinking of you right now
this moment
the world
frozen still for me.
I sit and watch the people
arm in arm
they look at each other
smiling.
For once I find myself
sitting here
doing the same.
Amazed that I can feel this way
that I have the ability
the ability to love
to let go
and to go on this journey with you.
I no longer thing it's crazy
how fast things run.
Connection-
what else could I be feeling but love?
I lay down
trying to catch up
catch up on what has gladly been lost
for a week now
sleep comes to me
four days is a long way away
you move mountains within me.

My heart is yours.

-Justin

Life...

I flip on NY1 news last night immediately when I get home
I brush through my things as I prepare to go to Brooklyn for the night.
I'm curious like everyone else...Heath Ledger, dead?
It's like one of those extremely random moments you just can't believe.
I am saddened like everyone else.
A girl however was interviewed
she was smiling the entire time...
almost laughing
because she was standing in front of his SoHo apartment.
As she explained that she and her friends were visiting Perezhilton all day
calling places and just trying to figure things out
she smiled
and then made it seem like a spectacle to go to his apartment
she was thrilled beyond words to be standing in front of the hot dead actor's apartment.
This disturbed me.
Why are you smiling?
Why are you laughing?
Why are you taking advantage of this moment?
Someone just died.
A person.
A real live person.
It's not the movies.
The market is crashing...
depression around the bend?
A new revolution
exciting times?
Sometimes
interesting
while the world falls apart
changes constantly
I fall deeper in love
surrounded by good feelings
I am able to smile
and forget about the world
.....

To you...it's surreal

I'm surrounded by feelings
feelings of happiness
feelings of uncertainty that contain hope.
Every time you walk away I wish I could go with you-
crazy...my word of the week.
New ipod tunes today filled my ears on the train to 34th st.
Thoughts of you-
the train went faster.
What is this?
I have no fear all of the sudden.
I think of you all afternoon
all evening
I get off at 42nd
suddenly coming down the steps
in a crowd of hundres of people
you stood smiling.
My eyes couldn't believe it
my heart sunk for a time.
In a city full of millions of people
I run into the one my mind fixates on...we chat...
I die because I cannot control my urge to kiss you
I control it
As I walk up the stairs I turn around and look at you
I watch you smile-not noticing me staring at you.
I smile the rest of the evening.
I believe in signs-this was one.
This time has been number one for a long time...
thursday, friday, saturday...
I lay there
we speak words of honesty
I smile when I look at you
I can't help it.
Your smell is a sublime combination of cologne, liquor, weed, and my kisses.
This is totally new
completely different.
I truly have never felt like this before
Our talk of the opera
your eyes as you inquire about it
the moment my heart sunk?
when your hand slipped onto mine under the bar stool
I could have fell through the floor.
"You're not going back that far," I say...
"ok," you say.
We hop in the yellow car to an endless night of something sublime.
It flows into the day.
I stare at you on the train
your beautiful profile takes my breath away.
This has been a surprise
another apartment we are in
you have to get things
we stay, and strangely I'm comfortable.
once again staring into each others eyes
our souls recognizing each other
I can't figure it out
for now I'm happy just living the answers
this is superbly surreal
and I'm thrilled at the possibilities that abound with you.
Your kisses I'm missing for a couple of days
I will learn how to get to you
I must adjust
there's no questioning.
You walked out of the shower freshly wet
your towel wrapped around your beautiful body
I lay on the couch
you come near me and I take the towel off
and wrap my arms around your wet body
run my fingers through your wet, jet black hair
you dress and I watch you
I say you look hot
and this isn't superficial
there were just no words to explain fully.
Exhaustion sets in today
thoughts of sitting down with you
on the couch I'm about to crash on
u say it seemed natural
it did.
I'm all about you right now
wishing I could not be exhausted
quick questions of speed hit my mind
they suddenly leave
before they never left
always expecting the worst
I don't feel this-this doubt is not strong
not there.
My thoughts go to you as I fall asleep
until I see you again
I can close my eyes tonight.

Ms. Battle

One of my favorite voices is returning to Carnegie Hall in April!! As soon as tickets are on sale my ass it hitting the train and heading to Carnegie Hall. Kathleen Battle will for sure be making a return to Carnegie Hall. I'm not sure how long it has been, however I'm more excited than I can say. Anyways...with the recent findings of this news Joseph Volpe, the Met General manager in 1994 who fired Ms. Battle...said in a recent autobiography THIS very interesting thing:
In his 2006 memoirs, Volpe wrote that James Levine had advised against the dismissal at the time [14] and went on to write, "[I've] wondered whether it was partly prompted by my desire to establish my authority at the Met. Perhaps it was. [15]
Hmmmm...interesting, eh? I of course wasn't there to see if any of her actions deemed her to really be LA BATTLE, however I have a feeling we're not done hearing her yet. I hear she's singing better than ever!

reality

here's a quote for the book to come out when I'm about to retire...
this reveals the reality of...ummmm what I do...this was actually said to me this evening by a friend whom I adore who is in the business in response to my nagging him for new material...just shows the realities sometimes of what we do...though I think he's crazy.........
"the only thing I've figured out is that there is no score like PIAZZA--especially auditioning sweet faced beautiful young boy blondes. It is sadly not a genre or art form. I'm sending you to an agent next week to start your film career-this is where you belong."

Hmmmm

This comes from an article/Interview with Barbara Bonney from the January issue of Classical Singer. This is really a terrific article-this is just one of the many honest things she says that I agree with:

CS: Speaking of the next generation, what issue do you find universally among young singers?

Barbara Bonney: It's not their fault, but they have been told they have to have a big voice to compete, which is really not the case. I mean, yes, it helps, especially in big houses in America: the Met, San Francisco. If you have a big voice, it makes life a lot easier, but in Europe, thankfully, it's still about the beautiful voice, and a beautiful voice isn't necessarily big...I think (the big voice emphasis is) beginning to seep in in Europe as well, so we're trying to keep that tsunami at bay and make sure people understand that we want to carry on the tradition that's been here for so many centuries. Let's not let go of that because we're chasing some ideal which is creeping in because of globalization and "bigger is better." There's a backlash to that hugeness, and now we're getting back to people, to what really counts to people in their lives.

GO BARBARA!!!!!!!

Or that anyone is watching you...

The Light In the Piazza
beautiful music I can't stop listening to.
Being true to oneself
never failing.
The secret-life changing truth.
A growing and changing stirring now
a calm storm blowing through me
change.
"The only constant is change..."
a familiar quote I see everyday in the office.
Always on your toes.
Last week-
fun yet empty
bored often.
Many lists tonight to be made.
Reminders
hanging things
my space now.
I can do it.
The urge to sing is there
more than ever
sing what?
I don't know.
Finding myself within the voice
that's it.
Shedding the layers of old
old voices
old characters
completely me.
Saw CURTAINS last night
reminds me of why I love the theatre.
No judging anymore.
It's not worth it.
Parties, drinking, conversations, love, flowers, sex....
at the end you're always alone.
I like this.
I'm learning.
It's not odd.
It's ok.
New lists.
-Justin

Finally

Finally...a news story that is positive and kind of makes the heart warm.

By CHRISTOPHER CHESTER, Associated Press Writer
1 hour, 41 minutes ago


BAGHDAD - After weathering nearly five years of war, Baghdad residents thought they'd pretty much seen it all. But Friday morning, as muezzins were calling the faithful to prayer, the people here awoke to something certifiably new.

For the first time in memory, snow fell across Baghdad.

Although the white flakes quickly dissolved into gray puddles, they brought an emotion rarely expressed in this desert capital snarled by army checkpoints, divided by concrete walls and ravaged by sectarian killings — delight.

"For the first time in my life I saw a snow-rain like this falling in Baghdad," said Mohammed Abdul-Hussein, a 63-year-old retiree from the New Baghdad area.

"When I was young, I heard from my father that such rain had fallen in the early '40s on the outskirts of northern Baghdad," Abdul-Hussein said, referring to snow as a type of rain. "But snow falling in Baghdad in such a magnificent scene was beyond my imagination."

Morning temperatures uncharacteristically hovered around freezing, and the Baghdad airport was closed because of poor visibility. Snow is common in the mountainous Kurdish areas of northern Iraq, but residents of the capital and surrounding areas could remember just hail.

"I asked my mother, who is 80, whether she'd ever seen snow in Iraq before, and her answer was no," said Fawzi Karim, a 40-year-old father of five who runs a small restaurant in Hawr Rajab, a village six miles southeast of Baghdad.

"This is so unusual, and I don't know whether or not it's a lesson from God," Karim said.

Some said they'd seen snow only in movies.

Talib Haider, a 19-year-old college student, said "a friend of mine called me at 8 a.m. to wake me up and tell me that the sky is raining snow."

"I rushed quickly to the balcony to see a very beautiful scene," he said. "I tried to film it with my cell phone camera. This scene has really brought me joy. I called my other friends and the morning turned to be a very happy one in my life."

An Iraqi who works for The Associated Press said he woke his wife and children shortly after 7 a.m. to "have a look at this strange thing." He then called his brother and sister and found them awake, also watching the "cotton-like snow drops covering the trees."

For a couple of hours anyway, a city where mortar shells routinely zoom across to the Green Zone became united as one big White Zone. As of late afternoon, there were no reports of violence. The snow showed no favoritism as it fell faintly on neighborhoods Shiite and Sunni alike, and (with apologies to James Joyce) upon all the living and the dead.

Enough already

I'm so fucking sick of hearing about Britney Spears!
The media is taking all of this way too far--someone literally needs to shake this girl or just back the fuck off and let her self destruct. What's worse is everyone talking about the pressures of fame, paparazzi, etc. If you have that kind of money there is no reason for you to allow the pressure of anything to affect you to the point of acting like a nut. I understand everyone has problems-we're human... but this is ridiculous and I'm so Goddamn sick of hearing about it. Someone was talking about her going broke and about how if she were to retire now that she would barely be able to get by on $300K a month. $300,000.00 a MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ohhhhh but she wouldn't be able to afford the lifestyle she currently lives... so what does that actually mean she would only have like 2 houses instead of probably the 5 or 6 she has all over the world (maybe more).... or does it mean that she wouldn't be able to just go to any store and get whatever the hell she wants and that would make her very so awful? or perhaps she wouldn't be able to have 5 assistants and bodyguards? Deal with it bitches! $300,000 is more money than most people will ever see and to have that kind of money a month? An average person would be able to buy 2 decent homes, perhaps a car, and have a little left over for grocieries....this is what millions work all their lives to obtain and only one house and occasionally a new car. People take out 30 year mortgages and work hard all their lives to pay off one house while if you have this income you could probably pay off TWO very nice average homes and then next month turn around and do the same thing. Bullshit like this pisses me off...and then people feel sorry for her. People like this gay tard on youtube who makes videos crying about her...people who seem to not understand things. I don't feel one bit sorry for her. Poor thing...it must be hard making millions of dollars, having recording contracts, having people take pictures of you in public all the time when you ask for it by doing crazy things, having access to anything you want to buy 24/7, access to the BEST shrinks and docs if you are really having problems...I don't feel bad! Everyone has the ability to make a choice and she is making the choice to be a total fuck up. Suck it up. If fame is too hard for you then move to a remote island with your kids and shut the fuck up and stay out of my news-there are more issues that I care about than hearing your bullshit spread across the news. People live in poverty every day...on the streets...kids go to bed without eating anything all day-how about we do something about that rather than worrying about Brit Brit getting custody of her damn kids, who will probably inherit a fortune anyways and wont have to worry about paying for anything the rest of their lives. Meanwhile us average Americans are having to deal with paying high rent, mortgages, rising gas prices, insurance, taxes (yeah most of us don't get many tax breaks), and child care, etc, etc.... all on what Ms. Spears would probably consider pocket change. And meanwhile the credit scoring system in this country has ONCE again changed and will be a tad tougher on people--and will also be even more vague as to how to get good credit! I find this ridiculous and completely insane! Oh and anything derogatory on the credit report may be there now up to 8 years instead of 7. So for those of us young folk who have made a few credit mistakes in our past--or had identity theft (yeah it happened to me 3 times and I'm still clearing it up-and I shredded everything) will be fucked even more while we try to fix things because it takes longer for the GOOD fucking things you do to hit the report than the bad to go away. Kind of unfair, eh? Of course I'm sure Brit Brit never has to worry about her credit report....all I have to say is self destruct already skank or else use your millions and get fucking help like a normal person!

We're in a microwave

Tornados in January
Snow and cold in the west
flooding and unseasonably warm temps in the east coast....
the hardcore conservative christians will be busy preaching that this is the end time this sunday--
perhaps we could say global warming?
It's January and this is what's happening?
I remember January when I was like 5
there was so much snow on the ground
school would be cancelled for days
it would actually be cold as hell
AND the snow that came would lay on the ground ALL winter
and wouldn't melt until the beginning of April.
Somehow I can't help but laugh at everyone's urging (including mine) to figure this out...
but it's funny when it comes down to the plain and simple fact that we have no control over mother nature.
We can build satellites in space, cure disease, prevent disease, create and pretty much do anything we want-
but the one thing we can't touch is nature.
I'm sure before it's all over someone will try.
Regardless we have no control, as much as we try to.
In the end we can merely feel like ants on an ant farm
now there some kid up there doing some fucked up stuff to us
saying "I feel like fucking with their world."
I wanna yell..."Hey you little asshole...thanks to you no one down here will EVER get over this nasty cold or flu"
Interesting times my friends...
global warming-it's pretty real, eh?

Michael Turay and life

Just have to say I adore Michael Turay! Flipping through my vids and poorly lighted pics from the 12th night party just made me smile. The weekend was full of parties and such-I felt like I was back in college...only that I earned the right to party harder and better in some ways. Friday night was Ro's farewell party since she's leaving on tour and my intention was to not be out too late...I got home at 1:00 the next afternoon--that's all I'm saying about that. Then 12th night party at Revival rolled around and I didn't pull the keys out to get in the apartment until 6:45 a.m. So everyone keeps asking....what's next? I ask this of many myself...I don't know is the honest answer. I don't plan on doing much auditioning until early spring--I just signed up for an acting class starting soon and will be working on all new audition rep. and getting new headshots, etc, etc. So we'll figure it all out....

Listening

Inside a large house nestled on the most beautiful street
sits an empty room on the ground floor.
The room is quiet, dark, and hasn't been lived in for quite a while...
he walks into the room briefly
too scared to actually soak in what is in there
he backs out.
as he backs out he sees an old picture on the dresser
one he hasn't seen in years.
It brings tears to his eyes
he forgot about the person in the picture
he decides to go back
this time actually turning the light on he goes in all the way.
For a moment he is taken completely back by his emotions
he stares at the pictures on the walls and starts crying
memories of a time he can barely remember
he finds a box in the closet
a small box filled with memories
a sponge still in the plastic
5 opened and half used packs of Lucky Strikes
several books that are marked in, drawn in...
notes from old friends
posters advertising old events
the smell of the box reminds him of so much he hasn't thought of.
He wondered in the back of his mind why he could never integrate this stuff
integrate it with the rest of the house.
Why was it locked away?
This room had been closed for so long
fear of the unknown
fear of going back into that place of child like simplicity
it has suddenly hit him that the other rooms were full
full of good things-but missing the life this room had to offer
this saddened him
should he rid the entire house of things and start over?
no.
Everything was too expensive, too much work, too much pain, too much happiness, too many memories to just throw away.
At breakfast he sat across the table from a friend with a soul from heaven
the friend without asking or knowing anything says...
"you should disburse the stuff from that room to the rest of your house...there are too many wonderful things in there to just let them sit...don't go through the pain of not seeing them or living there...."
"Im trying to live out the answers," I say smiling.
We eat and I go back to the house
I turn on the light and take the picture off the dresser
I move it into my bedroom and hang it on the wall.
This is the first step.

-Justin

Republicans, games, boredom, and other stuff

Random thoughts for the day in Justin land:

1. If a republican gains office this time around I will seriously consider deporting myself-especially Huckabee.

2. For the first time I have missed being in school. I feel as though I have nothing to do...and have to choose my own brain stimulation. I'm too A.D.D. to choose my own but I'm gonna have to learn how to do this. I was listening to language cds on my ipod this morning on the train-French to be specific. The scores are coming to work with me next week to start learning some things for some upcoming auditions and such.

3. I read sometimes that people like to play games such as disappear of the face of the earth and make people look for them--I don't do these kinds of games, in fact I despise them. Just take note.

4. Some change is about to take place in the realm of my world-I'm not sure what but I can feel it happening.

5. I have a farewell party to attend this evening for one of my closest friends who is going on tour-I'm sad but so proud of her.

6. I can't wait to see Sweeney Todd tomorrow night and also party it up with people from the show who I haven't seen since before Christmas

that's all for now.

communication

It sucks when you realize that just because you're not sucking someone's cock anymore that the lines of communication are suddenly closed... the walls are up... and all that once seemed great-is suddenly quite sad.
-J

Early Music & Italian Men

Two random topics I am going to rant about that are almost totally non related-well kind of!
#1 Italian Men!
I adore Italian men for the most part. I think they're gorgeous in so many ways, and the accents are just delicious. Obviously living in Astoria where there is a HUGE population of Italian people I have easily learned how to distinguish an Italian American from someone who was literally born in Italy. There are just dead give aways that one can tell. Typically the ones born in Italy that I've come in contact with have longer greasier hair, are a bit more meaty, and have an air about how they walk. The ones from the U.S. are more metrosexualified (if that's a word). They have shorter hair, it's obvious that they never forget to put some kind of lip balm on their lips, and there's the always present gold chain or watch. Regardless both sets are hot, irresistible, and just seethe some kind of Mediterranean air-its as if they were just plucked from and olive tree. So today I get my hair cut during my lunch break, it was time for a change and I'm happy I did it. Ira (the Russian lady who I adore that cuts my hair at this salon on 43rd) took extra long today because she does such a good job and is a perfectionist. So I left and literally had 5 minutes before I needed to be back at the desk-I'm only a block away. As I'm walking and listening to John Dowland (yes I'm a dork I know but early music is my new obsession--more later) I hear someone yell at me from a car. I pull out my ear phones and I look and see this very handsome Italian in this amazing car. I walk up to him and he asks me in Italian if I speak Italian. I responded that I do but that it has been a while since I've had conversation. He proceeds to tell me that I looked Italian so that's why he yelled at me. Are you serious?? Yes I am part Italian but I don't think I match ANY of the typical Italian physical characteristics besides my large nose. Of course I remember being in Italy and seeing a few lighter haired guys and was told by a native Italian that I looked like her son-but still never would have thought that. My great grandfather--yes he looked Italian and I can see it in my grandparents but no one else. So I kind of laughed and he looked at me and then asked if I knew how to get to JFK because he was flying back to Italy. I told him the way I THOUGHT he could get there but honestly I had no clue. He asked me if I was a business man and wanted to know what I did and I told him I was an opera singer and an actor and he asked if I would mind accompanying him to the airport and he would pay my cab fare back because he had no idea where he was going. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! This is when I'm reminded that I'm in NYC. Oh how fun....I told him I'm sorry but I was running late to work--and of course another Italian trait was that he kept nagging me and telling me that it wouldn't take too long. Sadly my encounter with the hot Italian man didn't last much longer as I apologized and kept walking away. *Sigh* Entertaining story of the day--who knows where he really wanted me to go and of course I would have NEVER gotten in the car but it was fun anyways...
#2 Early Music:
A friend of mine who is singing right now with Minnesota Opera was talking to me on the phone the other night about singing-because that's all we talk about. He is a lyric baritone, as am I and we often talk about how we think this is a very tough voice category because it's a voice that one can so easily push out of wack really fast. You can either push your brains out and try to sing bigger rep than what you should (because the development takes so long), or you might be told often that you should be a tenor because your low range is not strong and your top is pretty good, or you sing off the voice always and are a little too cautious and start to hide behind a protective wall. He was saying how difficult it is to find this balance and I told him that I couldn't agree more and that I'm dealing with this right now more than anything else. I listened to my masters recital cd for the first time in months and could hardly stand it. I feel vocally like a completely different person than I was then. One thing too that I'm trying to figure out is the mic situation. It sounds to me like the recording mic was too close--so there were a lot of partials lost that I think sound so much better when the recording mic is not so close and you get the full accoustical affect. So of course I hear every flaw, every imperfection, and I get pissy with myself. Ok move on, deal with it, and just keep going. The intention was right, but the sound was just not the best. And in a lot of places I can hear a timbre to my voice that should be throughout--and it's interesting because I think with freedom this timbre is going to open some interesting new things up. I'm not convinced myself right now that I'm a baritone, that I will be a baritone-really I'm not. I really think I may transition into tenor land. I know it's crazy, but it's true. When I have been vocalizing it has just felt so different and the higher stuff has been working out fantastically because I feel free--my speaking voice as well naturally sits higher when I don't try to push it down to sound more manly. I shouldn't have to do that I've realized-and listening to my cd there were many times when I could sense a false darkening I was doing try to sound like something...well that I'm not. I have found that I can't think as much...I just can't think of placing something, opening a certain length, or whatever. So this is a work in progress and I will have a pair of ears hear me soon that I trust. But listening to it there felt like there was something missing, and perhaps this was a more internal thing I can feel when I can remember what I was thinking and remember exactly how something felt. But the times when it was good...it was good and there was nothing missing. We'll work on this and all will open up. I digress....early music...so the friend and I were talking about how recently we have both been listening to a lot of early vocal music. Particularly I adore John Dowland and I've been listening to a TON TON TON of madrigal and really baroque things that are way cool. Vivaldi has become a favorite as of late as well and of course Gluck and Handel. He asked the question as to why I think this is starting to become popular and yet some are not willing to embrace it and the major houses are just slowly sneaking it in. Somehow I came up with something that I'd been thinking about for a while and here are my thoughts: I think early music is coming back is because it is so honest, earthy, sensible, and accessible. Yet with the seeming "simplicity and accessibility" of it there are SO many layers underneath of it. I think that as a society we are moving towards a more earthy place in our needs, I think people are appreciating these things more and more. "Tis the gift to be simple..." right? I truly believe that. For me simplicity is the way to go with all things...and I don't mean this in a trite way, but a very logical and formal simplicity. We are changing as a people, and as artists. I would like to think that no long does everyone need to go to the theatre to sit back and forget about things nor do they need to go and see a spectacle of costumes, scenery, etc that will blow them away. Not that this isn't great, because I trust me I still adore the staple larger things that are done. But I think people are moving towards a place where they go to the theatre to see something honest and that will make them think. Early music has this strange power to do this. I never really liked it much in college--in fact I often wondered why we were moving to a place of early music...now I know why. My friend agreed with me and he also said that his coach has been giving him some early arias that are amazing for years and he has just now picked them up and plans on auditioning with them. We'll see where this goes but I truly believe that it's something great that's opening up. We have to appreciate all kinds of music as artists and singers. For many years I thought early music was for pussies-but now I think sometimes it takes more balls to be honest and simple on the stage. Especially vocally since so much of this is exposed and free-now that's tough and takes courage.
Tonight I go to the theatre to see Edward II--a play off-broadway. I can't wait....:)
-Justin