Substitute for Love

Today rain & cold abound in the city.
I feel uber under the weather today.
If there are ever those days you feel like you're just getting by
hanging on to a small thread--
that is me today.
It's the stress of the past few months
finally catching up to my body
the apartment situation
so irritating.
It should be fixed mid week.

This break was amazing.
The most theraputic and much needed time.
Justin & Travis mean so much to me...
we can sit around and do nothing and be happy.
It has always been that way-
in the ever changing world where people change all too often
it's nice to know that my connection with these two never changes-but gets stronger.
I'm so happy they are accessibly close to me
of course I wish we were closer.
I'm envious of their lives in so many ways. They have each other, a beautiful home, and are working through life together.
In so many ways I feel all alone in this world.
That's ok-for now.
A change will abound in the future...
the thoughts on the bus last night of "living that way now...."
totally makes sense.
I love the city
I love performing...
my substitute for love?
not anymore.

-Justin