dreamin'

A free download from Starbucks-
I go there way too much.
I download John Mayer
dreamin' with a brokenheart
I've heard it before
cant remember where or when.
First song on the ipod this morning
while walking to the train.
I grew melancholy-
I decided to flip to Ah non giunge instead
Joan Sutherland
hearing her jaw
makes me smile.
I flip back to John Mayer when I get on the 5 train to Grand Central
Amazed at the calm in my head while surrounded by chaos.
A looming feeling over me since yesterday
questions
now answered
not fully
but enough.
I'm sad that you couldn't explain to me yourself
instead other excuses arise
false reasons
late night available?
no.
I know why...
I was once there.
I've moved on a great deal since this
the answer came today
I shouldn't have heard it-
sent a shock through me.
Not for reasons you may like to think-
for more simple
earthy
honest reasons beyond bullshit.
I'm dissapointed
now wanting to delve even more
thank you for reminding me
reminding me why I am here
what I need to do
me
me
me
In all of this craziness.
someday I will look back
empty heart
and smile
for now
counting the days
to clear out
then I can truly let go.
I will walk through Bryant Park this afternoon
peace
calm
what needs to happen.
Rehearsals start tomorrow
the perfect thing
needs to happen.