Interesting stuff

Things have gone for bad to worse in some ways. No worries--all will look up soon. This is the first moment I have had to myself in three days. I promise to be returning calls and making several in the next two days. So with that said here I now must vent...

In my quest for a fabulous "day job" I have written in the past two months about 500 cover letters. You really want this to be your shining point where you let the employer know that you really want the job and you wanna let them know that basically your resume is great but you can do more. So...whilst writing one the other day I grew frustrated for many reasons and this is actually the one I came up with...I think it would be super appropriate to send! Who knows, maybe honesty is the best policy.

To Whom It May Concern:
Thank you for taking the time to review my materials expressing interest in the position with your yoga studio. I believe my extensive administrative experience, education, interest in yoga, and personality will make me a wonderful asset to your studio.
For the past five years I have actively maintained employment as a financial advisor while pursuing my bachelor and master's degrees. I am actively seeking employment as I am trying to bridge the gap between my education and a performance career that right now seems to be non-existent. So instead I am sending you this cover letter to show you that because I have two degrees I can fucking do your shitty little job of running your studio--trust me I'm more than qualified. But why am I wasting my time...because you probably won't want to hire me because you'll feel that you have to pay me more (which you should) because I have my masters degree. I know it's frightening, isn't it? You might actually have to pay someone more than $11 an hour to do your shit work! The only reason I am applying for this position is because my pride will not allow me the luxury of working in fast food, retail, or some other dive because simply put I have spent thousands of dollars and have created a lot of debt for myself to be at this point. Please let me know what you think, I am available for interview immediately! Please?
Sincerely,
Justin Randolph

:)

BRITNEY?
Will someone PUH LEEZZZZZZZZE help her!?! And for God's sake...I'm sick of seeing it all over the news. Who has a press conference about this shit???? This kind of shit happens all the time to people...why are we so involved in her life!?! Regardless someone needs to slap a bitch!

Ok...more sometime soon. I will be in touch with ya'll soon.
Peace
Jay