In the end...

People come and people go...
I often ask myself the meaning to so many questions.
What do I want in life?
Why am I here? Why is this happening?
Why is this NOT happening?
I have long days
sad days...
happy days...
days of peace
days of anger and rage
days of silence...
long walks...
long train rides...
frustrating morning commutes
but lately this has all had some kind of light to it
even the worst stuff
my mind has become overwhelmingly at ease
I have connected with someone
someone with whom the future seems to be possible...
when I was 24 I remembered driving in Ohio in the country
feeling lonely and depressed
"WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?," I cried out.
The images in my head...well...those images of what he would look like
how he would talk
what he would be like
immediately came to me.
yes I'm in love
crazy? in some ways yes.
For now all I can do is smile...