Thankful

Today I'm thankful for:

1) The warm kisses and hugs this morning as I woke up.

2) Getting on the train early and getting to work on time. 

3) Hearing Mandy's fun story last night. 

4) The friendly maid at work today who always makes me laugh.

5) A fan blowing the paint fumes away from my desk today.

6) Waking up with less garbage in my chest. 

7) Getting a text from Tosha saying she's graduating with honors. 

8) Having food to eat.

9) Being able to withdraw money from the atm and not worry about it.  

10) Sunday family dinners. 

11) Good friends.

12) A mini-vacation on Thursday-Sunday with Greg. 

XOXOXOOXOX

What are YOU thankful for??

Oh what a beautiful mahhhhhning....

If the temperature would always be what it is now all year round--the weather would be perfect! I woke up this morning after sleeping much later I planned to a nice breeze blowing through my room. I love the feeling on days off when I can just feel a cool breeze through the window and snuggle back under the covers-knowing that I can sleep longer if I want. And also the breeze just brings some fresh air into my room. I'm constantly trying to remind myself to pay attention to all the small details in life--they make a difference. I'm continually striving to be filled with gratitude for all of the wonderful things in my life-in an effort to stay positive. So often every morning I can feel the turn of negativity happen from the minute I step out of bed and into the shower. One small change of thought can change this terrible pattern, because if you're at all like me then one negative thought leads to another leads to another leads to more which basically equals a terrible terrible day! So each day whether it's one work....two words...two pages....etc....I'm going to try and make sure I blog about what I'm grateful for that day. I'm going to challenge all of you bloggers and all of you non-bloggers out there to do the same. Just take 5 minutes and write down what you're truly grateful for. I think it will make a huge difference in your day. So today I'm thankful for the following:

1) A warm bed
2) Food to eat
3) Some money in the bank
4) Having a wonderful relationship with someone I'm truly in love with.
5) Having a wonderful circle of friends here who are supportive, kind, and like family.
6) Having a wonderful day job that isn't demanding & wipes out all my energy.
7) Having talent.
8) Having a loving family who cares for & supports me.
9) The neighbor who always cooks big breakfasts because the smells come through my window & remind me of the smells from my grandma's kitchen.
10) Those friends in Ohio who have kept in contact with me regardless of distance.
11) Saturdays blogging in bed.
12) Saturdays walking to Starbucks & getting coffee.
13) Saturday evenings in Brooklyn.

Now u try! :-) I feel much better. Gonna walk to starbucks....

XO
-Justin

What is funny...

You know what I find to be hillarious is the following:
When someone holds a grudge about something that is so far in the past...so untrue...and in general completely retarded. It's amazing to me the bullshit that lingers from something that supposedly happened a year ago. I have this to say...fuck you for not accepting my apology, my honesty, my sincerity, and above all my request because some voice with blonde hair and boobs has said "this is just something I don't understand--how you could still be friends after all of this has been said." FUCK you...pussy!

Good night!

The past

Your breath pouring on me

the smell I adore--

your sweet kisses embrace my body

our skin is touching and I feel you all over me. 

Something clicks-

the past is finally gone. It hit me. 

I am able to completely let go.

I let go in every way.

Feeling my body literally release--this brought tears to my eyes.

All the painful things of the past were gone.

The terrible words-the anger-the not letting go-the hatred-the lies-everything. 

Moving on with you is a dream.

I'll be yours for the rest of your life if you let me. 

-Justin

Artistic Juices...

Well they're flowing again!  This is great...

planning the cabaret--

I have some good songs...good ideas (thank you my love)

Web site should be up soon....

here we come!

--Justin

Racism & What will kill our country

Interesting story:

Yesterday....after a terrific weekend I decided to do some shopping. I was leaving the store and a lady was walking briskly. I wasn't in her way when she shouted "Get the fuck out of my way...I don't like whitey!" Meanwhile a surge goes through me full of rage and anger and I shout back..."EXCUSE ME!" Meanwhile she is closer to me and she spits at me! Without even thinking at this point my left hand which is holding three large bags full of items swings up with the bags smacking the bitch in the face. She continues yelling at me when at this point 2 other guys have heard and seen this happen and they push her away and tell her to get the fuck out of their neighborhood. When I tell people this story they ask me..."what race was she?" I must say I don't know...it doesn't matter. This shouldn't have happened....regardless now I kind of laugh but also am still angered in many ways by it.

NOW...I found this today. This is what I believe is the problem with our society today. Talk about judging, narrow minded views, etc....this disgusts me and makes me truly believe that the radical evangelical Christians are truly almost just as bad as the Islamic extremists. This makes me sick...I am reminded of the infiltration that this lifestyle creates...the way they twist things to serve their own agenda...and more so the way they use Jesus Christ--the teacher of love--to preach hate. And now this crazy video they made about Oprah....just kind of makes me laugh.

Like poo

I have been feeling like crap for over a week now..

in general.  

Today has been the best "I feel GOOD" day so far.  I'm still worried because there is a ton of junk in my chest today--I have kitties in there. 

Though I've been taking mucinex it just doesn't want to go away. So I'm seeing the doctor today. There's so much junk going around-bad junk too. 

Usually if it's just a cold it's gone in a few days for me.

This has lingered almost two weeks.  Time to get some peace of mind or some drugs.  

Lots of positive energy coming round the bend these days....

XO

--Justin

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time...

a boy decided to cut coffee (caffeine)

cut cigarettes

become a vegetarian

and be the next world wrestling champion--

all in one day.

Woah! 

The little boy became sick

a general happening.

Weather changes are hard.

All at the same time.

The little boy had breakdowns

several.

Felt he was going crazy.

Maybe he is.

Perhaps he will.

Headaches all day--

kept questioning...

"cut caffeine--duh!"

OH SHIT...he thinks...

that would explain it. 

Going from 8 cups to 1 cup will do that. 

Going from half a pack or more a day to

1 smoke a day...will make you crazy.

This is good though. 

The boy was able to realize what is important

what needed to be done-

scary-but true.

He has begun to break a bad cycle.

Once upon a time....

there was a boy

who was patient with himself

who praised himself for his efforts

who decided to keep working--

breaking patterns

no more guilt.

Ease

do it all with ease. 

Again today 1 cup of coffee

head ache is not there

feeling much better today

still a tad sore in the throat-

but good. 

He wants to smoke sometimes

but realizes that he's done so well--

he HAS to continue.  Not yet making it a completely go away--

but stopping the habits.

Which he knew would be the hardest to stop

thinking it would be easier just to completely stop altogether.

No.

A plan is much better.

Listen to your own heart he tells himself.

Today is a better day.

Money in the account this morning--thank God.

The Secret really does work.

Long weekend...

voice lesson early next week

I need it.  

The boy sits now at his desk

looking at two cows eating grass

smiling...

Back to life...

c'est la vie. 

-J-