it's 2 a.m.
I cant sleep...
haven't been able to get to bed before 3 a.m. in days.
it's like I wake up when midnight hits or something.
There's nothing on t.v.
I've just had a conversation with David in Australia...I miss him terribly.
Big decisions to make...
gotta move soon.
Many things answered last night...
tonight in my dinner with parents.
this craziness was necessary-
there was a reason for it all.
only the universe knows the actual reason
I can feel the energy behind it.
positve thinking
the laws of attraction.
im thinking many things right now
everything will open up
i need to be that magnet.
for now...
tomorrow is another day.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Bad day
in many ways...
today was an utterly shitty day after a point!
still no phone charger (that's why it goes into voice mail kids and there's no text response) hopefully tomorrow...
get car sick
see a hillarious movie
come home and am pissy...
everything just going wacko--
$130 in parking tickets from BG? are you kidding me?!? I haven't been there!
deadlines...
deadlines...
Bills...
career? what's that...
just one of those days.
Nothing but free radicals running through my body right now...
Oh bother.
Perhaps tomrrow will shine a different light.
today was an utterly shitty day after a point!
still no phone charger (that's why it goes into voice mail kids and there's no text response) hopefully tomorrow...
get car sick
see a hillarious movie
come home and am pissy...
everything just going wacko--
$130 in parking tickets from BG? are you kidding me?!? I haven't been there!
deadlines...
deadlines...
Bills...
career? what's that...
just one of those days.
Nothing but free radicals running through my body right now...
Oh bother.
Perhaps tomrrow will shine a different light.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Lessons Learned
From "dumping" a bunch of baggage the necessity to share things I have learned in recent days is overwhelming...so here goes:
1. Communication is key-never be afraid of communicating with those you most love and adore holding stuff in will hurt you.
2. One cannot make a big move hanging on to tons of baggage.
3. "I chose and my world was shaken...so what?! The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not..."--this has been an anchor.
4. Always be honest and true to yourself, your art, and your talent. Anything else is a waste of your resources and energy--losing yourself is not good.
5. NYC is most amazing on a cool night for long walks.
6. Loving someone involves letting them go--and I mean completely letting them go.
7. It's hard saying goodbye...putting one foot in front of the other and moving on are key.
8. Change is bound to happen-you truly can't postpone or pray that this doesn't happen.
9. A backbone is good to have!
10. Most people will fall back on old habits, old ways of thinking, etc...that's ok--you don't have to do that and PLEASE don't worry because they will be just fine.
11. Making out for long intervals in an NYC Irish bar in the bathroom can be serious fun!
12. People protecting your no-no place from others are amazing!
13. Drama is no fun.
14. Family is the best.
15. It really IS possible for two gay men to be in a long term committed relationship AND get married AND buy a house AND be normal!
16. Massachusettes is gorgeous!
17. Leaving your phone charger places is not good.
18. GPS systems rock my world!
19. Sleeping is my friend!
20. Time heals everything!
1. Communication is key-never be afraid of communicating with those you most love and adore holding stuff in will hurt you.
2. One cannot make a big move hanging on to tons of baggage.
3. "I chose and my world was shaken...so what?! The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not..."--this has been an anchor.
4. Always be honest and true to yourself, your art, and your talent. Anything else is a waste of your resources and energy--losing yourself is not good.
5. NYC is most amazing on a cool night for long walks.
6. Loving someone involves letting them go--and I mean completely letting them go.
7. It's hard saying goodbye...putting one foot in front of the other and moving on are key.
8. Change is bound to happen-you truly can't postpone or pray that this doesn't happen.
9. A backbone is good to have!
10. Most people will fall back on old habits, old ways of thinking, etc...that's ok--you don't have to do that and PLEASE don't worry because they will be just fine.
11. Making out for long intervals in an NYC Irish bar in the bathroom can be serious fun!
12. People protecting your no-no place from others are amazing!
13. Drama is no fun.
14. Family is the best.
15. It really IS possible for two gay men to be in a long term committed relationship AND get married AND buy a house AND be normal!
16. Massachusettes is gorgeous!
17. Leaving your phone charger places is not good.
18. GPS systems rock my world!
19. Sleeping is my friend!
20. Time heals everything!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Points
These eleven points were in an online article I read by David Jones (who I enjoy sometimes...). These are outlining from his teaching observations over the years some of the attributes actual working singers had. These made a lot of sense and I am embarrassed to say that most of them I rarely do. What a wake up call. I'm not for formulas and I believe every experience has to be different...but these are pretty darn standard for most of us.
The full article can be found at:
1.Passion for singing which inspires vocal work on an every day basis; even without a contract. This creates consistency.
2.Curiosity for the research of the recordings of great singers of the past.
3.Ability to achieve emotional calm (focus) in order to concentrate.
4.Healthy physical exercise routine and realization that the voice and the body are one.
5.Study of appropriate future roles; even without a contract. Moving forward constantly in the learning process.
6.Meditation; some form of relaxation technique.
7.Body work; massage, Alexander technique, shiatsu, yoga, or another body discipline. The singer becomes body aware.
8.Appropriate amount of rest; recommended sleep; 8 hours for men, 8 1/2 hours for women.
9.Desire to help other singers in their quest: this helps a singer to avoid becoming overly self-focused.
10.Balance between working time and relaxation time.
11.Find a charity to consistently help others. This avoids too much self- focus.
The full article can be found at:
1.Passion for singing which inspires vocal work on an every day basis; even without a contract. This creates consistency.
2.Curiosity for the research of the recordings of great singers of the past.
3.Ability to achieve emotional calm (focus) in order to concentrate.
4.Healthy physical exercise routine and realization that the voice and the body are one.
5.Study of appropriate future roles; even without a contract. Moving forward constantly in the learning process.
6.Meditation; some form of relaxation technique.
7.Body work; massage, Alexander technique, shiatsu, yoga, or another body discipline. The singer becomes body aware.
8.Appropriate amount of rest; recommended sleep; 8 hours for men, 8 1/2 hours for women.
9.Desire to help other singers in their quest: this helps a singer to avoid becoming overly self-focused.
10.Balance between working time and relaxation time.
11.Find a charity to consistently help others. This avoids too much self- focus.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
My friend...
After a long day I come home
I come home to vocalize
getting the voice moving forward
relief
it's still there
more is there
so much to uncover.
Take out my digital recorder.
I use it for audio feeback for myself.
Decide again to rewind to previous recordings.
I hear a familiar voice
singing Beau Soir
Maybe This Time from Cabaret
& Stars and Moon.
I cant help but sit with tears
the beauty
the honesty of this rehearsal
the honesty of the sound.
There's something major in there
dont give up your dreams my forever best friend!
U r an example of stepping away
reprioritizing
realizing
this isn't the MOST important
that made everything so much better.
If only we could open our own cabaret
perhaps someday.
you belong in the studio
on the stage
somewhere this voice truly belongs.
Strangely you have become my example right now.
Thanks to you
gratitude more than you will know!
I come home to vocalize
getting the voice moving forward
relief
it's still there
more is there
so much to uncover.
Take out my digital recorder.
I use it for audio feeback for myself.
Decide again to rewind to previous recordings.
I hear a familiar voice
singing Beau Soir
Maybe This Time from Cabaret
& Stars and Moon.
I cant help but sit with tears
the beauty
the honesty of this rehearsal
the honesty of the sound.
There's something major in there
dont give up your dreams my forever best friend!
U r an example of stepping away
reprioritizing
realizing
this isn't the MOST important
that made everything so much better.
If only we could open our own cabaret
perhaps someday.
you belong in the studio
on the stage
somewhere this voice truly belongs.
Strangely you have become my example right now.
Thanks to you
gratitude more than you will know!
Finally...some clarity
Craziness in the previous few weeks
the present-craziness.
All too present loss is looming around us right now.
Must look and move forward.
For me a moment of clarity
truth
definition
logic
God?
yes.
A peaceful answer to questions
mysterious and clear answers.
More vocalizing
more committment to art
more committment to music
what I've failed to do in the past-
now my yes must mean yes
and my no must be as equal as my strong yes-
nothing in between.
old thought patterns
old voices
old habits
finally must be broken
must be taken away.
nothing is a quick fix-
it's the process.
STOP worrying where you're going...
MOVE ON
if you could know where you're going--YOU'VE GONE...
the point of knowing would be?
change has been rapidly accelerating
everywhere.
I couldn't deal
couldn't cope.
My tools were not sharpened...
my weapons were not strong enough.
taking precious care to be
to be what I am
to nuture that...
to nuture connections
mind
body
soul.
For a brief moment-
bliss in clarity
tomorrow?
a journey begins...
say a prayer
continuing to be patient and listen
it really works.
For now...one of the most amazing songs:
the present-craziness.
All too present loss is looming around us right now.
Must look and move forward.
For me a moment of clarity
truth
definition
logic
God?
yes.
A peaceful answer to questions
mysterious and clear answers.
More vocalizing
more committment to art
more committment to music
what I've failed to do in the past-
now my yes must mean yes
and my no must be as equal as my strong yes-
nothing in between.
old thought patterns
old voices
old habits
finally must be broken
must be taken away.
nothing is a quick fix-
it's the process.
STOP worrying where you're going...
MOVE ON
if you could know where you're going--YOU'VE GONE...
the point of knowing would be?
change has been rapidly accelerating
everywhere.
I couldn't deal
couldn't cope.
My tools were not sharpened...
my weapons were not strong enough.
taking precious care to be
to be what I am
to nuture that...
to nuture connections
mind
body
soul.
For a brief moment-
bliss in clarity
tomorrow?
a journey begins...
say a prayer
continuing to be patient and listen
it really works.
For now...one of the most amazing songs:
Monday, September 24, 2007
The Real Discussion
Ms. Spears NOW involved in a hit and run?!?
Can someone please help this girl? Seriously...I'm so sick of the media just publishing all of these stories about her and allowing her to perform when it's obvious someone needs to help her! Are we just now almost completely celebrity gossip whores as a society that we accept someone who is behaving like this to be entertaining and normal?!? How are we going to stand back and just laugh at a 25 year old who is publically going crazy? Where is her mother? This is too sad. I've never been a huge fan...but lately I can only imagine what this girl must be going through. Seriously...a hit and run? Is this going to be the next Anna Nicole?
Can someone please help this girl? Seriously...I'm so sick of the media just publishing all of these stories about her and allowing her to perform when it's obvious someone needs to help her! Are we just now almost completely celebrity gossip whores as a society that we accept someone who is behaving like this to be entertaining and normal?!? How are we going to stand back and just laugh at a 25 year old who is publically going crazy? Where is her mother? This is too sad. I've never been a huge fan...but lately I can only imagine what this girl must be going through. Seriously...a hit and run? Is this going to be the next Anna Nicole?
My boys
I stole this picture from someone...these are my boys at their wedding! This was seriously one of the best moments I've experienced...seeing two people who truly connect and love each other make their committment publicly!! I've known these guys for seven years and their love for each other has grown. I was so honored to be the best man for this....these are two of my best friends and two of the kindest and most genuine souls anyone could meet!
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