Refresh

Somedays we just need a reminder.  I'm posting this from a blog several months ago....still very true. I need to be reminded:

"The only constant is change" is my new stolen motto.  Change is constant, change is good, and I will relish in the moments of change because life is always moving.  Being an honest, sharing, open, kind, and genuinely grounded person is at the forefront of my mind.  I'm an artist-this will never change.  Material that means something to me is what I choose to do.  Having an open mind about all genres of art is a daily affirmation.  Living and loving my art and those around me is essential.  Letting go of the past, past voices, past fears, past control, past loves, and everything else that is in the way of constant motion is something to be done daily.  Mediocrity has no place in my life anymore whether from friends, colleagues, or myself-it's just unacceptable-period. Connection and being constantly present and awakening daily are essential to my daily diet.  Running from connecting with people or following through with connections is not a trait to be tolerated. This is my constant change. "

Justin

Today

Change remains the only constant--thankfully!  Today I'm thankful for much...especially in a world where politics and talk of recession, financial depression, and gloom are running crazy.  I'm thankful for:

1) Waking up in a pretty good mood.

2) Even though I didn't have hot water for at least being able to get into the shower this morning and bathe. 

3) All the thousands of people including myself who walked in the AidsWalk yesterday in Central Park. 

4) For having an amazing supervisor at work who isn't angry with me when I'm almost 20 minutes late because of the train. 

5) For having great friends.

6) For having money to put food in my stomach.

7) For having a nice weekend with Greg.

8) For being able to watch Joplin last week...(merrrr I miss her)

9) For having work.

10) For not having a car and the expense that it brings right now. 

11) For having a long weekend coming up.

12) For having the knowledge and ability to bring my own art into my life that I choose.

13) For having a voice.

14) For reconnecting.

15) For disconnecting. 

16) For cleaning out and starting fresh. 

17) For lunch in my bag today.

18) For supportive parents.

19) For clothes on my back.

20) For health.

21) For happiness.

22) For music.

23) For Kathleen Turner on my ipod this morning.

More to come...today was long...I have much to be grateful for.  :) Today and this week will be good! 

XO

Justin

I'm thankful...

this morning for:

Thus far raising $325 for the Aids Walk on Sunday...being closer to my $500 goal.  

The people who have selflessly given to this cause!!

Waking up having a cute dog lick my face

and even better--waking up next to my amazing love who regardless of how ugly I am in the morning, pissy I have been lately, weird I have been acting...has loved me regardless. :)

Having an amazing dinner last night.

Mashed potatoes that taste like heaven.  

Starbucks that isn't totally crammed with people this morning.  

PayDay!

Having food in my stomach.

Having money in my wallet and bank.

The train being on time.

Having an amazing boss.

Reconnecting.

Seltzer Water.

The Today Show....

air conditioning.

xo

Justin

Gym and such

So this is a short little fun story...I guess my mouth opens before my brain really says "you shouldn't say that..."  But I'm thankful for what is now a funny story to me:

I'm in the gym...I just get done showering and I'm anxious to check my cell phone to see if my friend Andy called because I went WAY over my workout time.  Seeing that I am supposed to meet him I want to see if he's called to make sure I'm not late.  I go to my locker and pull out my phone.  Clearly I'm in just a towel but I'm grabbing my phone to briefly look and see if I've missed a call.  There is a sign that says "no cell phones permitted in use in locker room."  Ok well we all know why that is...obviously someone could take numerous pictures and videos of men completely naked and then post them on the net.  I've seen many guys use their cell phones, so I'm thinking it's no big deal.  I pull mine out and notice I have a voice mail.  I walk to the mirror while checking my message and start putting my product in my hair.  As I close my phone and walk back I notice an old, rather over weight man staring at me-whilst buck naked.  He says to me in a very prudish tone, "you're not supposed to use those in here."  Without thinking my mouth opened and I find myself saying "well just so you know I'm making a phone call that's important--and if I were to take nudie pictures or videos it would not be of you!"  

AHHAHA! 

Justin

This is the problem with our society!

Wow...this is ridiculous. This is what I grew up hearing--and now it makes me sick....realizing the hatred in this. This is what's dividing our country right now folks. We cannot let these narrow minded people force their beliefs on everyone else. It relates to my favorite prayer: "Lord please save me from your people!"

Mainstream...and gratitude

Today I'm thankful for:

1) waking up in a warm bed next to someone I love. 

2) having the first day in months of just going with the flow.

3) feeling alive.

4) having drinks with great friends last night.

5) Kelly Francis and her half full approach to life.

6) Kim Thomspon--just for being her every day and making me think in ways I don't usually think.

7) New possibilities.

8) An open mind.

9) people to cover the desk when I'm gone.

10) The guy in the coffee shop in the building who has mine ready as soon as I step up to the counter in the mornings. 

11) A red pen that I love at my desk.

12) A trip to see my family in PA tomorrow.

13) A free evening.

14) An evening of no gym.

15) getting paid next week. 

Mainstream issues...

I'm trying to get it through my head that it's ok to be a multi-tasker in life.  For some reason I used to be able to do this and the older I get the more it feels impossible. These ideals that one should do just do one thing and be set with that are ridiculous.  Yet I find myself clinging to them the older that I get.  I think it can be scary for people who have these ideals in their head of who they are to really jump off the normal path.  For me I'm finding that I can't sit still very long without getting bored.  I don't want to be bored.  Especially bored artistically.  Life is way too short to be stewing all of the time.  I saw two actors on the train yesterday and listened to their conversations about how they were doing 8 auditions a day and not getting work...and they were frustrated because they had no money and were worn out.  They looked like hell--and I thought "how could you possibly give a good audition looking the way you do and feeling so tired?"  Some people think one doesn't have drive if they're not wanting to constantly audition...they think they just are lazy. I don't always agree.  Yes I'm sure there are lazy actors/singers out there-I know some.  But the quality of work being offered is not the best.  I look for auditions frequently...and nothing sparks me.  Yes there is a chain you have to crawl up so they say--but really, do you?  Does one really have to compromise their artistic values for a small paycheck just to put something on the resume?  I believe I would rather do free GOOD work than shitty paid work just to put something on my resume.  I read Classical Singer magazine and I am mixed between the thoughts of..."wow this so great that there is a community for people..." and "oh my this is TOO much of everyone trying to learn the same thing and figure things out..."  I've decided I have a lot of interests...reading is a key for keeping my mind clear.  I've been reading A NEW EARTH by Eckhart Tolle.  It's quite good--and remarkably life changing.  I'm almost finished and I'm hoping to keep with the truth of each and every moment.  But I want to be a multi-tasker. I want to do different things.  Passion will carry you through...you have to be completely engaged so that the passion pulls you in.  I haven't felt that in a while.  There hasn't been any project that has kept me up all night learning lines, studying, reading, etc....for a LONG time.  I want that again. I want that obsession--that drive.  I know it's slowly coming back...and I just have to be open to whatever form it may come in.  Onwards and upwards, eh?  

Justin

Today

Today I'm thankful for:

1) The free box of girl scout cookies.

2) The sun

3) having money

4) being alive

5) having a good conversation with Doug this morning.

6) my flowers that were given to me. 

7) having a good laugh

8) hearing Kim's laughter.

9) Getting a good chuckle out of another person ignoring my request--too funny!

10) Reconnecting with some ties.

11) Breaking old ones.

12) Learning to make peace with some things.

13) thinking about making sweet love tonight.

14) being able to read.

All of the above and more...

it's a good day.

Ciao-

Justin

Dreaming

Dreaming is fun-it fills my heart with hope.

My mixed emotions of "wow is this my life?"

hit hard.

Hit hard in a good way.

There are so many things I want. 

So many things I know will for sure happen.

In time.

Impatient? Yes.

Being with three of my favorite people all weekend--

happy days.

Makes me want to live closer. 

I can envision dinner parties weekly...

being a part of that daily life

with people I love.  It feels essential.

Today I woke up with less back pain.

I woke up extremely happy.

Coming back into my room to sweet kisses

I didn't want to leave.

I could have stayed all day.

Noticing the little things...

the way the chin and lips are set

just how I like them.

I'm thankful for all of this..

so many things.

My heart is full.

XO

Justin