Wednesday, November 7, 2007
questo-il mio sogno
When I have a really long day like today which in so many ways was a great day...however at times overwhelming for some reasons...I have to think back to the picture below...standing on top of the little town in Italy called Peglio after hiking it for an hour with Bernard and Michael. Looking down on the small peaceful town of Urbania where we lived for a while makes me smile...The perfect day with two of my best guy friends on top of it all in gorgeous Italia. Now I'm gonna lay back and pass out...no more energy left from me.
Morning Glow
I wake up to the alarm at 6 ish
plan on getting up
ehhhh no
put it on vibrate so I dont wake the girls
and also so I don't sleep longer than planned.
I jump in the hot shower which always feels like heaven first thing in the morning.
I rush to get dressed realizing my shower time was longer than planned.
I think I must fall asleep in there
or zone out perhaps.
I get dressed
try to start walking to the train by 7:40
usually it's 7:48.
I walk fast to stay warm.
Put my ipod on...an array of opera
today I choose to listen to John Mayer once again-
I zoom past it about half-way through
need something uplifting.
Lucia sextet is the next option...
then it's some Simon Keenlyside
then some Boheme.
Before I know it I'm at Grand Central.
I get out and push my way through the masses of people.
Luckily I'm only a block away.
Walking past the Gap
then Duane Reade...
I smiled this morning
as I saw a couple
walking towards the same building
they embraced
kissed
said I love you
and then parted ways.
Love really does abound
even on the most bitter of mornings.
It was a nice glow of the day before heading into the News Building for work.
I found out the worldst most amazing coffee machine which is here also does espresso.
I have loaded up on caffeine today.
MUST drink water--have to sing this evening again.
Rehearsal went well.
Still unfamiliar with people.
different personalities make me smile.
Reminds me of why I love what I do.
Some great voices in there.
Hopefully the move will take place soon.
The world continues to move.
As the world turns...
All is well on the homefront.
plan on getting up
ehhhh no
put it on vibrate so I dont wake the girls
and also so I don't sleep longer than planned.
I jump in the hot shower which always feels like heaven first thing in the morning.
I rush to get dressed realizing my shower time was longer than planned.
I think I must fall asleep in there
or zone out perhaps.
I get dressed
try to start walking to the train by 7:40
usually it's 7:48.
I walk fast to stay warm.
Put my ipod on...an array of opera
today I choose to listen to John Mayer once again-
I zoom past it about half-way through
need something uplifting.
Lucia sextet is the next option...
then it's some Simon Keenlyside
then some Boheme.
Before I know it I'm at Grand Central.
I get out and push my way through the masses of people.
Luckily I'm only a block away.
Walking past the Gap
then Duane Reade...
I smiled this morning
as I saw a couple
walking towards the same building
they embraced
kissed
said I love you
and then parted ways.
Love really does abound
even on the most bitter of mornings.
It was a nice glow of the day before heading into the News Building for work.
I found out the worldst most amazing coffee machine which is here also does espresso.
I have loaded up on caffeine today.
MUST drink water--have to sing this evening again.
Rehearsal went well.
Still unfamiliar with people.
different personalities make me smile.
Reminds me of why I love what I do.
Some great voices in there.
Hopefully the move will take place soon.
The world continues to move.
As the world turns...
All is well on the homefront.
Monday, November 5, 2007
SURVEY
It has been a slow day in the office...yay for more self indulgent expression:
1. Who was the last person you hung out with, actual one-on-one?
Mandy
2. Do you believe in real love?
Yes
3. How do you feel about your ex and their new love interest?
Wow...is statitory rape no longer illegal?
4. Regret doing anything in the past week?
no
5. When was the last time you fell?
I tripped in the subway yesterday. :-(
7. Are you gay?
Sometimes, sure.
8. What do you think of when you hear the word "slut"?
I laugh
9. Do you have a dirty mind?
not so much these days
11. Have you been pressured to do anything recently?
no
12. Who's the best person you know right now?
my family
13. How do you feel about the person who last texted you?
I look forward to seeing him when he is back in NYC.
15. Do you like your name?
Yes.
16. Is anyone interested in you right now?
yes.
17. Who is the fifth text in your inbox from? What does it say?
From James...saying " :-) "
18. What's your favorite number?
69
19. Would you ever cross-dress?
I have.
21. Do you hate anyone?
no
22. Are you a good speller?
Usually.
25. What's your worst habit?
turning off alarm and resetting it-not getting up right away.
26. Are you listening to any music? What song?
No
27. Would you ever give your number out over the internet?
not really
30. Do you love someone?
Family and friends,
32. How do you feel about one night stands?
over it.
34. Would you rather feel pain or be numb?
Numb.
35. What is your favorite color?
black and hunter green
36. Do you like competition?
Sometimes.
37. Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didn't want to break their heart?
no
38. Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
Yes.
39. Do you hate being alone?
occasionally
40. Has anyone ever broken your heart?
Oh yes
42. Who was the last person to send you a instant message?
Paul
43. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
August
44. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Duane Reade
47. Last time you were hugged?
This afternoon.
48. AIM or MSN?
AIM.
49. Last restaurant you went to?
Chipotle
50. Do you miss anyone right now?
yes but we're chatting so it's all good.
1. Who was the last person you hung out with, actual one-on-one?
Mandy
2. Do you believe in real love?
Yes
3. How do you feel about your ex and their new love interest?
Wow...is statitory rape no longer illegal?
4. Regret doing anything in the past week?
no
5. When was the last time you fell?
I tripped in the subway yesterday. :-(
7. Are you gay?
Sometimes, sure.
8. What do you think of when you hear the word "slut"?
I laugh
9. Do you have a dirty mind?
not so much these days
11. Have you been pressured to do anything recently?
no
12. Who's the best person you know right now?
my family
13. How do you feel about the person who last texted you?
I look forward to seeing him when he is back in NYC.
15. Do you like your name?
Yes.
16. Is anyone interested in you right now?
yes.
17. Who is the fifth text in your inbox from? What does it say?
From James...saying " :-) "
18. What's your favorite number?
69
19. Would you ever cross-dress?
I have.
21. Do you hate anyone?
no
22. Are you a good speller?
Usually.
25. What's your worst habit?
turning off alarm and resetting it-not getting up right away.
26. Are you listening to any music? What song?
No
27. Would you ever give your number out over the internet?
not really
30. Do you love someone?
Family and friends,
32. How do you feel about one night stands?
over it.
34. Would you rather feel pain or be numb?
Numb.
35. What is your favorite color?
black and hunter green
36. Do you like competition?
Sometimes.
37. Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didn't want to break their heart?
no
38. Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
Yes.
39. Do you hate being alone?
occasionally
40. Has anyone ever broken your heart?
Oh yes
42. Who was the last person to send you a instant message?
Paul
43. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
August
44. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Duane Reade
47. Last time you were hugged?
This afternoon.
48. AIM or MSN?
AIM.
49. Last restaurant you went to?
Chipotle
50. Do you miss anyone right now?
yes but we're chatting so it's all good.
dreamin'
A free download from Starbucks-
I go there way too much.
I download John Mayer
dreamin' with a brokenheart
I've heard it before
cant remember where or when.
First song on the ipod this morning
while walking to the train.
I grew melancholy-
I decided to flip to Ah non giunge instead
Joan Sutherland
hearing her jaw
makes me smile.
I flip back to John Mayer when I get on the 5 train to Grand Central
Amazed at the calm in my head while surrounded by chaos.
A looming feeling over me since yesterday
questions
now answered
not fully
but enough.
I'm sad that you couldn't explain to me yourself
instead other excuses arise
false reasons
late night available?
no.
I know why...
I was once there.
I've moved on a great deal since this
the answer came today
I shouldn't have heard it-
sent a shock through me.
Not for reasons you may like to think-
for more simple
earthy
honest reasons beyond bullshit.
I'm dissapointed
now wanting to delve even more
thank you for reminding me
reminding me why I am here
what I need to do
me
me
me
In all of this craziness.
someday I will look back
empty heart
and smile
for now
counting the days
to clear out
then I can truly let go.
I will walk through Bryant Park this afternoon
peace
calm
what needs to happen.
Rehearsals start tomorrow
the perfect thing
needs to happen.
I go there way too much.
I download John Mayer
dreamin' with a brokenheart
I've heard it before
cant remember where or when.
First song on the ipod this morning
while walking to the train.
I grew melancholy-
I decided to flip to Ah non giunge instead
Joan Sutherland
hearing her jaw
makes me smile.
I flip back to John Mayer when I get on the 5 train to Grand Central
Amazed at the calm in my head while surrounded by chaos.
A looming feeling over me since yesterday
questions
now answered
not fully
but enough.
I'm sad that you couldn't explain to me yourself
instead other excuses arise
false reasons
late night available?
no.
I know why...
I was once there.
I've moved on a great deal since this
the answer came today
I shouldn't have heard it-
sent a shock through me.
Not for reasons you may like to think-
for more simple
earthy
honest reasons beyond bullshit.
I'm dissapointed
now wanting to delve even more
thank you for reminding me
reminding me why I am here
what I need to do
me
me
me
In all of this craziness.
someday I will look back
empty heart
and smile
for now
counting the days
to clear out
then I can truly let go.
I will walk through Bryant Park this afternoon
peace
calm
what needs to happen.
Rehearsals start tomorrow
the perfect thing
needs to happen.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
cold
Today was a visit to southstreet seaport for lunch and just a visit. It was nice...the breeze was crisp and once again as I stared out onto the water while engaged in a phone conversation I remembered why I loved New York. I also have never really been here when it's cold, so this will be an adjustment. Although I figure if I can survive the artic Bowling Green winters I will be fine here.
I have felt blah the past two days, especially today. I think a lot of it is the gloomy weather and time change. I also think it's my overwhelming thinking of how busy things are about to get before Christmas.
I will be working my fab. day job and then almost every day heading to rehearsal until around 10ish. Ok...I keep telling myself that I used to do this ALL the time in college. I CAN DO IT! I used to get up and be at work at 8 and then have rehearsal late into the evening, so I can do it. It has just been a while. On top of that we will be moving into our apartment hopefully in the next two weeks. Granted all I have with me are a couple of suitcases--I will have to find some free day to either travel back to Ohio and travel right back with my things...or tough it out until my parents can bring most of it to me in December. I will just be happy to have my own space and not feel like I'm living off my friend's space. The show will be fine and it will kick my ass into shape in terms of singing because I'll have to do it every day.
Anyways...happy monday to all.
Much love,
Justin
I have felt blah the past two days, especially today. I think a lot of it is the gloomy weather and time change. I also think it's my overwhelming thinking of how busy things are about to get before Christmas.
I will be working my fab. day job and then almost every day heading to rehearsal until around 10ish. Ok...I keep telling myself that I used to do this ALL the time in college. I CAN DO IT! I used to get up and be at work at 8 and then have rehearsal late into the evening, so I can do it. It has just been a while. On top of that we will be moving into our apartment hopefully in the next two weeks. Granted all I have with me are a couple of suitcases--I will have to find some free day to either travel back to Ohio and travel right back with my things...or tough it out until my parents can bring most of it to me in December. I will just be happy to have my own space and not feel like I'm living off my friend's space. The show will be fine and it will kick my ass into shape in terms of singing because I'll have to do it every day.
Anyways...happy monday to all.
Much love,
Justin
isn't it funny?
it's funny
many months after performing an intense cycle
the words have come back to me
"come back in tears...oh memory...hope...love of finished years..."
"you ate an apple...and I ate a pear..."
"there was so much to love...I could not love it all...some things I overlooked"
"some I could not find........"
I'm finding them
it's funny how that happens.
Today was one of those me days
a day of reflection
a day of calm
a day of perspective.
I realized a lot
funny
how we move on quicker than we plan
when we let go
things happen.
Syncronicity.
The laws of attraction.
I smile at the thought now
of relief.
You are here always
always part of me
regardless
this makes me smile.
Watching the movie last night...
I thought of you as I cried.
"Read this and I will come back to you..."
this is truth.
my loss is changing
realizing it's no longer a loss.
I have the strength
strength to move on
move through
look back
smile.
Trips to the airport late
conversations play back in my head-
wishing I could grasp again your reality.
Now is preparation
years from now I will say
"you taught me so much..."
those words so powerful
"what did I teach you?"
"About concentration...you meant to tell me to be where I was when I was there...not somewhere in the past or future. I wanted you to love me...I thought the world could be perfect--I was wrong..."
"I am sure that I loved you"
"I'm sure you did too..."
Conclusion and completion.
Each day is better.
For now I'm in that dream
I am done with the first song in the set
now halfway through the second
perhaps the third will happen soon
perhaps never.
What I have created has turned on me
no longer will these creations manifest.
Reality is the name of the game.
"what's reality"
"IT just is," I say with a grin.
You laugh...
you toss it down those wooden steps
I open my door
we smile
jump into bed
the middle of the night I awake
to your arms of love surrounding me-
the one time both of us are free
free to do this.
I feel you beside me and I smile
safety.
Waking to espresso and cereal-
soon enough.
The world where a minute without you seemed crazy
this has changed-
I go to my dreams
counting my blessings...
you are at the top.
I will see you there
again tonight--you know when I'm there
tonight I need your shoulder
your arms
come back--
in dreams.
many months after performing an intense cycle
the words have come back to me
"come back in tears...oh memory...hope...love of finished years..."
"you ate an apple...and I ate a pear..."
"there was so much to love...I could not love it all...some things I overlooked"
"some I could not find........"
I'm finding them
it's funny how that happens.
Today was one of those me days
a day of reflection
a day of calm
a day of perspective.
I realized a lot
funny
how we move on quicker than we plan
when we let go
things happen.
Syncronicity.
The laws of attraction.
I smile at the thought now
of relief.
You are here always
always part of me
regardless
this makes me smile.
Watching the movie last night...
I thought of you as I cried.
"Read this and I will come back to you..."
this is truth.
my loss is changing
realizing it's no longer a loss.
I have the strength
strength to move on
move through
look back
smile.
Trips to the airport late
conversations play back in my head-
wishing I could grasp again your reality.
Now is preparation
years from now I will say
"you taught me so much..."
those words so powerful
"what did I teach you?"
"About concentration...you meant to tell me to be where I was when I was there...not somewhere in the past or future. I wanted you to love me...I thought the world could be perfect--I was wrong..."
"I am sure that I loved you"
"I'm sure you did too..."
Conclusion and completion.
Each day is better.
For now I'm in that dream
I am done with the first song in the set
now halfway through the second
perhaps the third will happen soon
perhaps never.
What I have created has turned on me
no longer will these creations manifest.
Reality is the name of the game.
"what's reality"
"IT just is," I say with a grin.
You laugh...
you toss it down those wooden steps
I open my door
we smile
jump into bed
the middle of the night I awake
to your arms of love surrounding me-
the one time both of us are free
free to do this.
I feel you beside me and I smile
safety.
Waking to espresso and cereal-
soon enough.
The world where a minute without you seemed crazy
this has changed-
I go to my dreams
counting my blessings...
you are at the top.
I will see you there
again tonight--you know when I'm there
tonight I need your shoulder
your arms
come back--
in dreams.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Reality
Photo courtesy of Chris Crook/Zanesville Times Recorder
A picture like this reminds me of how wonderful life is...how human we are...this soldier returning home. The amazing arms of home and love. This is my religion.
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